My dear it’s time for me to take a vacation

A retreat from your barrage of rapid fire notification

To be honest, I’m a little disappointed with our communication

You look marvelous. Absolutely fabulous and stunning

I can’t ignore how much more you are friendly, attractive, and cunning

You are older and more mature and most certainly bolder

Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder

You’ve captured the heart of my whole organization

With tricks for satisfaction and instant gratification

You’re shrewd, foxy, crafty, and clever. 

Most of us fell hard with no doubts whatsoever.

But I always had this ambivalence and hesitation. 

From experience with my ex’s, I felt this similar frustration

I’ll admit I’ve been seduced by your connection and flirtation

But frankly I’m concerned with your lack of consideration

I’m well aware of your tactics to hijack my attention

The firehose sprays dopamine in every channel and mention 

It’s subtle, sophisticated and elegant with threading

Still I’m concerned with where all of this is heading

It’s workflow so thoughtfully and deliberately embedded

Which is exactly and precisely the thing that I dreaded

What has happened to your manners and etiquette?

I thought we were more than just subject and predicate

We’re either distressed in the wild west or else attacked in the outback

And you’ll do nothing to compensate for the structure you lack

You claim threads but I just have overflowing unreads

Which ones are still alive and which ones are dead? 

Do you remember who was there or what even was said?

So my inbox is zero, you’re such a great hero

Really you think you’re the greatest thing ever since sliced bread?

You just moved the pinging and ringing somewhere else instead

I get nothing, no conclusion or closure after I’ve read

No end by design? No feelings of being on top or ahead

You think I’ll sleep better? Will I ever make it to bed?

Bushwhacking threads as a sport or productivity hack?

Surely you were joking, you were just talking smack

There are no keyboard shortcuts to distinguish the signals from noise

Made in California, these are tools and not toys?

At least it’s not plastic from these silicon boys 

With their advances in collaboration . . . OMG, LOL, Oh the joys!

It’s my fault for slipping down the rabbit hole

It’s not your fault, all the minutes you stole

I was the one that slipped down the abyss of the scroll

I can’t remember where I started but I did have a goal

Youl say I’m being unfair and unkind?

It’s my fault when I search and don’t find

You look so smashing but you’re not well designed

It’s a mess with just stress, fragments and thoughts unrefined

How can I make sense of any outcomes agreed or defined?

Do you have any conscience? Do you care? Do you mind?

When you see I’m there, you always expect a reply

And if I don’t, I should have some excuse to supply

Or you might be offended or put off don’t deny

The pressure to keep up appearances is really high

Well, I took you off my phone but you are still on my mac

If we can reconcile our differences, I might put you back

Until then my friend, until we get back on track

You’re not what I need before I go hit the sack

Your name is so deceiving. It’s just totally whack

You know how I feel, I think you’re like . . .