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2020 just telling it like it is

I have to tell the story 

of 22 straight rainy days

And coping with 2020

Yes, all of the ways

 

Many dives into the Oslo fjord 

It’s not totally insane

If you do it enough

You’ll feel pleasure not pain

 

It’s something else to do 

In the dark without clothes

I’m sharing it you know

Not everyone knows

 

The things you can do to escape covid and Trump

When the sun has vanished

And you’re in a bit of a slump

 

Not all is cancelled or lost

Some things are good fun 

And don’t have much cost

 

Life’s still good 

If you’re under 13 

If you like to ski on ice 

And you like to be mean

 

If you like pushing Rose off the Titanic in Roblox

And dropping your pants. Yeah. Not just your socks

 

If it wasn’t attached, you might lose your head

I’ll say it 50x, would you please go to bed?

Doesn’t matter if it’s pants, a sock, or a glove

Could you show your brother just a little bit of love?

 

Leaving trails of clothes in so many places

Joking and pranking just to see faces

 

The thrill of reactions ever so priceless

I’ll try to stay patient for kindness and niceness

Until then, I’ll play with stories and words 

And make the best and the most 

Of the random and absurd 

 

For people that fall asleep in the shower and wear shorts on their head

If you get what I mean from everything that I’ve said

 

I bought presents from youwish dot n-o

I wish they were for me

I’m just letting you know

 

For the warriors and heroes

Let there be arrows and bows

For fighting dragons and hydras 

And life’s highs and life’s lows

 

For those that add milk to their chocolate 

Beyond reasonable proportion

And expect cookies for dinner 

Through bribes and extortion

 

Whenever you feel not exactly unencumbered

Just remember who I live with

And I’m always outnumbered

 

My sweet dreams are definitely made of cheese

Or an island in the sun with wind and with breeze

 

At the end of the day when I’m tired of the teasing

I’ll vent to the wise owl and the true voice of reason

For training and advice for a sunsetter future hockey season

More random and absurd nonsense and strange places one pees in

I think he might still be with me when it comes to the freezing

 

Then if I seize a moment to be with my true north star

His office is downstairs. It’s not really that far

When I steal a chance to be alone but still together

Without the jokers on our dirty sofa that’s made of brown leather

We could pretend to have sun and sand and good weather

 

But instead we’ll watch Puckers or Arctic explorers

We like ice and darkness and vodka for scorers

 

I know I’m not crushing it when it comes to domestic life

I can imagine how much it sucks to have me for a wife

I suck so supermuch at homeschooling and cooking

And I’m not getting any younger and not better looking

Even though I’m older, I’m still doing stupid shit

I might do it a little slower but I’m not gonna quit

 

Must we always be so responsible and serious?

When it’s so much more fun to laugh and be delirious

 

With best friends, third wheels, without the sons or daughters

We have our connection with darkness and the saltwaters

 

The real secret to be told is that the rush is not for gold

Where the real magic happens is in saltwater that’s cold

 

The world would be a much better place if we all took the dive

And did things for each other that make us feel alive

Like the moments when talking to strangers

Those kinds of things are really game changers

 

In 2021, there will always be things that are wrong or go faulty

But if you want to stay happy . . .

Stay safe and stay salty